Everyone talks about post-wedding emptiness, a feeling of loss and not feeling useful or excited anymore once the frenetic buzz of wedding planning is no longer required. I was prepared for this feeling, but didn’t find myself experiencing any of it. On the contrary, I’ve been basking in memories of the day and enjoying hearing about our guests’ experiences of our wedding, which differed from our own in that they saw and heard things we didn’t see or hear. I’ve relished having the time to do what I had been putting off for the last couple of pre-wedding months – clearing out the back room of wedding paraphernalia, reorganising our wardrobes and reassessing what items we need and what we can afford to throw or give away (a frequent consideration when you live in a small house). I’ve noticed the absence of that distant, nagging feeling – the “what if the worst happens” image – that has been in the back of my mind for a while now. I know what happened now, and it was amazing, and I don’t need to worry about back-up plans or confirming details or disaster stories any more.
What I can’t seem to tear myself away from, however, no matter how irrelevant it might now seem, is looking at other people’s weddings. Wedding blogs, photographers’ websites, friends’ weddings that are coming up, you name it and I just can’t seem to get enough of it – still. I guess now I know what all those newlyweds and soon-to-be newlyweds in the photos are thinking and feeling and imagining, it gives me a renewed interest in the details of others’ special days. Maybe it’s still just a phase I’m closing out of, who knows.